What are negative emotions and rough handling of their infants

Dr. Phil,

I learn a lot from your blog and I have read your parenting book. I read your blog Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers, but I do not know what you mean by "negative emotions towards their infants and rough handling of their infants."

Thanks, Lilly, S.F. CA

Great question, Lilly, thanks.

Yesterday I was at lunch, looking forward to reading the latest gadget article for all things Apple computer. A few tables over I observed a mom and grandmother eating lunch with a 3 year old and an 18 month old. What I observed were "negative emotions towards their infants and rough handling of their infants."

The three year old was in a high chair reaching and grabbing as the food came to the table.  As he strained to reach for a french fry, his mom gently slapped his hand and said, "I told you in the car if you can't be a good boy you're going to get a spanking."

Over the next 15 minutes, while I finished my lunch, I observed the mom and the grandmother talking to each other in a friendly manner. When either adult was interrupted by a child, they growled softly at the child and said stern things to them.

"Stop doing that, you're acting like a little snot."
"You never listen to me."
"You're being a brat."

The 3 year old seemed unaware of anything the adults were saying. He seemed used to it. I saw his hand get gently slapped 5 times. Of note I did not see either adult talk to or with the children only at the children.

Over time, I can see how this type of parenting can lead to these children showing aggressive behaviors in school.

Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers

By Philip Copitch, Ph.D.

A new study gives us insight into aggressive behavior in toddlers. Researchers from the University of Minnesota looked into the relationship moms have with their newborns and how it influences their behavior in preschool.

Michael F. Lorber, the lead researcher said in a press release, “Before the study, we thought it was likely the combination of difficult infant temperament and negative parenting that put parent-child pairs most at risk for conflict in the toddler period, and then put the children at risk for conduct problems at school age. However, our findings suggest that it was negative parenting in early infancy that mattered most.” 

The researchers looked at over 260 mother-infant pairs following them through first grade. Each infant was evaluated for temperament during their first week of life and again at about 6 months. When the children were in kindergarten and first grade, their mothers and teachers were surveyed concerning the child's behaviors at home and in the classroom. 

The result of the longitudinal study suggests that the children who were aggressive and explosive in kindergarten and first grade tended to have disorganized and angry relationships with their mothers. Mothers who showed negative emotions towards their infants and rough handling of their infants, more often had children who were aggressive and defiant in kindergarden and first grade.

Over time...

The study showed that over time the behaviors of the children got more aggressive and defiant leading to more negative parenting from the parent. This study suggests a cycle of turbulent family behaviors leading to children having a harder time when they start school.

“The results of our study move beyond descriptive findings to explain the underlying process linking how mothers parent their children in infancy and the problems children have in early elementary school,” Lorber pointed out.

Parenting is a learned behavior. This study shows the importance of parents learning how to parent in non aggressive ways.

Does Mt. Dew shrink your penis?

By Philip Copitch, Ph.D.

Dear Dr. Phil,

There is a rumor going around my school that Mt. Dew will shrink your penis. Is this true? If so how come they can legally sell this product?

Paul, Central Valley High, Redding CA.

Does Mt. Dew shrink your penis?

The simple answer is NO!

I am glad that you used the word "rumor" in your question. It seems that you were suspicious.

The problem with rumors is that if they are repeated often enough, they start to seem like old information. Tell the rumor several more times, and it starts to sound like a fact.

Similar rumors have to do with Mt. Dew lowering sperm count and/or shrinking testicles. All bull honkey!

When you come across a rumor, question its authority. Who is telling you this and why? Are there credible facts that can be verified? Is the rumor logical? Personally I like to ask, "Something that important should have facts to prove it, can you show me the facts?"  Statements like, "Everyone knows it," or "My social studies teacher said it," are not facts. 

For more information about this particular rumor see: snopes.com: Mountain Dew Shrinks Testicles

For more information about critical thinking see: The Importance of Teaching Critical Thinking

A few facts about Mt. Dew:

Energy	110 kcal
Carbohydrate, by difference	31 g
Sugars, total	31 g
Sodium, Na	50 mg

Dr. Phil's opinion about Mt. Dew

Overall Mt. Dew is liquid candy and should be consumed like a treat. It is very high is sugar, salt, and caffeine. It has no nutritional benefits. I personally like the taste of it. Enjoy it sparingly such as on your birthday, Christmas, and D&D all nighters.

Customer review:

• Condom
• lubricant for sex
• lubricant for women
• lubricant for sex water based

Nanny state or caring society?

By Philip Copitch, Ph.D.

Dear Dr. Copitch,

I read your article called "New images on cigarette packs" and found myself getting angry. Why do people think that they can tell me what to do? I like smoking, and I am aware that it may be harmful to me. But it is my life and I still choose to smoke. I should be able to "opt out" of the nanny state and be allowed to live my life my way.

Grumpy in Oxnard

Hi grumpy in Oxnard,

I think I understand your desire to be left alone to smoke to your heart's content, but you live in a caring society. If I happen to be walking down the street and see you keeled over and wheezing, maybe having a heart attack or suffering from lung cancer, I'm going to call 911 and get you some help. 


This help comes with a big price tag and all of us pay this price tag. You can't "opt out" of our society easily. I like the concept of free will, but the reality of your free will can be very expensive for us as a whole.


According to the CDC:

• During 2000–2004, cigarette smoking was estimated to be responsible for $193 billion in annual health-related economic losses in the United States ($96 billion in direct medical costs and approximately $97 billion in lost productivity).
• The total economic costs (direct medical costs and lost productivity) associated with cigarette smoking are estimated at $10.47 per pack of cigarettes sold in the United States.
• Cigarette smoking results in 5.1 million years of potential life lost in the United States annually.

More Info: CDC - Fact Sheet - Economic Facts About U.S. Tobacco Production and Use - Smoking & Tobacco Use

Chinese Herbal Medicine must be good because so many say it is good.

Dear Dr. Phil.

Last year you came to my AP Psychology Class at Shasta High. You were very informative and funny. You said that we could email you if we had a question... so here goes.

My friend's mom has gone 100% mental over Chinese medicine. She has an herb solution for everything. She is positive that there is a conspiracy keeping the truth about the power of Chinese medicine a secret so that doctors can get rich.

Is Chinese medicine better than American medicine?

Thanks, Sara

Is Chinese medicine better than American medicine?

Great question Sara,

The fact is that Chinese and American medicine are the same. Medicine is based in scientific fact, and in China if you can afford medicine you get the same treatments as you get in this country. Alternative medicine was (is) only used in poor, rural areas where there is little access to modern medicine. In fact, in the middle of the last century China was in the forefront of medical research. So, how come so many Americans believe that Chinese folk remedies are better than medicine (American, Chinese or French)?

It is important to look at how this phenomenon entered American culture. To help you get this information please take the time to listen to the podcast linked below. It is from Skeptoid.com. Their motto is Skeptoid: Critical Analysis of Pop Phenomena. I find Skeptoid's analysis of a subject to be scientifically sound and educational.

Mao's Barefoot Doctors: The Secret History of Chinese Medicine (Skeptoid #259) - Westerners' belief that Chinese have long relied on alternative medicine is due in part to being duped by book publishers.
Read | Listen (12:51)
The transcript (Read) is a synopsis, so I recommend listening to the podcast for the whole story.

May I recommend:

While I'm on the subject to of Skeptoid.com, I highly recommend their award winning web site: Skeptoid: Critical Analysis Podcast

and specifically their podcast on critical thinking: The Importance of Teaching Critical Thinking

Be well,
Dr. Phil Copitch

New images on cigarette packs

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently showed of the new "warning" images that will be on all cigarette packs by the end of 2012. 


Some of the images are relatively mild:

While some are in your face gross:

The big question is "Will these warning graphics help people to stop smoking, or better yet, never start?"

The simple answer is yes.

These warning labels are product specific advertisement, and it is well documented that advertisements work. In 2006, the tobacco industry spent $12.4 billion on advertising, not to keep newspapers and magazines afloat, but to replace customers that die from their product. This 12.4 billion represents a doubling in expenditure since 1997.  Read the FTC report.

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius said on June 21, 2011, 

Somebody said when they first saw the warnings: ‘These are really gross.' Well, they are. We want kids to understand smoking is gross, not cool. And there's really nothing pretty about having mouth cancer or making your baby sick if you smoke.

"I heard that teens aren't influenced by these scare tactics" 


Most people start smoking before age 19.  A common reason teens start to smoke is to say "screw you" to their parents, school, or authority in general. This attitude is fleeting for most teens. So over time, knowledge will  overcome anger. And advertising (warnings) take time to seep into the mind.

Smoking for teens is a statement. The more the teens see the bigger picture, the less effective their "statement" will be. 

A closing thought:

Teens are substantially more likely to smoke if one of their parents smoke. Some parents wonder if their teens learn anything from them... the simple answer is... Yes!

Want to stop... learn more?

Call: 1-800-Quit-Now or go to : www.smokefree.gov